I’ve been laid off. Now what?
My Monday started like every other person living in America’s morning — still thinking about the events that transpired this past weekend. This weekend in particular, American faced horrific scenes of violence in the streets as protesters who support Black Lives Matter marched long into the hours of the night, and those peaceful protests often turned violent. Video and photographs of my current city, Austin, where police officers fired CS gas and rubber bullets at protesters, were the last things I saw before I put my phone down and stepped back from social media. The first thing I saw this morning while checking on all my friends and family was the announcement of George Floyd’s private autopsy results that directly contradict the Minnesota state coroner findings. While my mind was thinking of the world at large and the bigger problems, in due time I found I had another problem.
My manager notified me this morning that, due to reductions in workforce, I was being laid off. I was shocked, confused, and caught on an early morning web cam looking less than my best for what I thought would be a routine one-on-one. I offered to tell my coworkers and the teams that we meet with each week myself. After freshening up (read: fastest shower, blow-dry, and make-up since an impromptu college date) I was ready to face the team and break the news. Initially it was met with silence. That silence was broken by someone asking me not to interpret the silence as a sign that my coworkers did not care, but rather that they were speechless. That voice cracked, and became a shaky sound offering me a virtual hug. After all of our routine Monday meetings, I received instant messages from people I’ve worked with and everyone has been so supportive. It wasn’t about reassigning projects, pushing a lot paperwork or draining tasks on me, or prying for details. For the most part, I think we were doing a little bit of mourning.
This weekend I mourned for America and for the lives lost from racism and police brutality. Weeks prior, I mourned for those lives lost from Covid-19 all around the world, everyone from doctors to patients that died because of it, and today I mourn the job I had that was affected by the global recession and economic instability resulting from it. In the coming weeks and months, I will have to do things a bit differently. Yesterday I made a large donation to charity, now I am calculating my severance. Weeks ago I was advocating for Texas to expand unemployment benefits, now I may be receiving them.
One of my closest friends asked me, “What now?” and to be honest, I don’t know. I’ve taken for granted for so long that I will always have a tomorrow, when so many others will not. I think maybe that’s a good place to start.
